l>Ye Olde first Skit File


I saw this skit when I was an Indian Guide. It entails anarrator, a campfire v everyone dealing with one way, and someone v alarge club.Narrator: I"m going come tell girlfriend a scary story. There was a woman,working alone in ~ a company late in ~ night, hearne news on the radio. Theradio mentioned automobile accidents, baseball scores, and also trouble incongress. She packed she bags to go home, and as she was turning offthe radio, they discussed an escaped convict.Radio: The guy is a deranged killer. He walks with a limp,dragging one foot, and he dead an bloody axe. That escaped byhacking three prison guards come death. He is armed and also dangerous!Narrator: She turned turn off the radio, turned off the lights, andwalked in the direction of her vehicle through the empty building. However as she walked,she heard footsteps in the street behind she .. Step scrape, stepscrape, action scrape. She to walk faster. The footsteps come closer,step Scrape, step Scrape, step Scrape. They come closer, closer.Finally she reached the the former door, turned the knob. Locked! Shewas trapped! turning around ...The guy with the society (you require a running begin for this) yells"Aaarghhhh!!!" and also leaps over the audience (or with a walkway ifpossible), waving the club and also making as much noise as possible.

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Drinking Cola

First man brings in a stool, puts it down, leaves.Next man brings in a have the right to of coka cola, puts it on the stool, leaves.Next guy opens the have the right to of coke, put it earlier on the stool, leaves.Next guy drinks the entirety can that coke, leaves.Next male takes the can, leaves.Next man takes the stool, leaves.Next man comes in, does a really lengthy burp, leaves.

The Siberian Chickenfarmer

Farmer: "Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... Chick ..."Two army times come up behind the farmer.Police: "Comrade! Vat room you Doink!"Farmer: "I"m feedink my chickens"Police: "Vat room you Feedink dem, Comrade??"Farmer: "Corn."Police: "Fool! over there is a shortage of corn!!!"They beat him up. Oof. Ow.Police, dragging that away: "Three year in the work camps for you!"Narrator: 3 years later, ...Farmer: "Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... Chick ..."Two military times come increase behind the farmer.Farmer, standing up some: "Uh oh ..."Police: "Comrade! Vat space you Doink!"Farmer: "I"m feedink my chickens"Police: "Vat space you Feedink dem, Comrade??"Farmer: "Wheat."Police: "Fool! over there is a shortage the wheat!!!"They beat the up. Oof. Ow.Police, dragging that away: "Five year in the work camps because that you!"Narrator: five years later, ...Farmer: "Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... Chick ..."Two armed forces times come increase behind the farmer.Farmer, standing up some: "Uh oh ..."Police: "Comrade! Vat are you Doink!"Farmer: "I"m feedink mine chickens"Police: "Vat space you Feedink them, Comrade??"Farmer: "Rubles."Police: "Rubles? but vy are you feedink castle rubles, Comrade?"Farmer: "They deserve to buy their very own food!"

Mike the Midget

This is a Tim Conway sketch. You collection up a puppet-theater likestage. Mike the midget is really 2 people. One person"s head shows,and his arms room in pants and also sneakers room on his hands. The otherperson was standing behind, and also puts your arms v a shirt, pretendingto it is in the arms of Mike the Midget. Shot having the hand slap a fly,or scratch the chin or head. Try having the feet carry out a dance, or fightwith the hands. There may likewise be a narrator. Ns don"t psychic anytext come this.David Dargan (Troop 835, Fredricksburg VA) provided me with thistext, i beg your pardon he constructed from memory and tried out properly attwo scouting events:Props & supplies:Shirt with sleeves reduced open in the backShorts, belt, socks, shoesWhipped cream in a canFake razorHand towelBananaRolled up newspaperCrackersNarrator:I"d choose you to fulfill our newest Asst. Scoutmaster, Mike. Tide helloto the nice people, Mike. Together you deserve to see, Mike is fairly short, however hemore 보다 compensates because that his brief stature by his incredibleenthusiasm and dedication come the young Scouts.Tonight, Mike is walk to demonstrate for girlfriend his typical day. Hewakes up rather groggy, so he go a big stretch and a big yawn. Andhe wipes his eyes. Next, that does some extending exercises to gethimself limbered increase to begin the day turn off right. Then he go a coupleof jumping jacks to obtain the blood pumping. Then, he stop to ponderto himself what to do next (he crosses his arms, puts one hand increase tohis chin, taps his finger top top his cheek, and also crosses one foot over theother). The scratches his head. Then he has actually an idea (one finger up inthe air). He"ll go for a jog. He starts out progressively at first, then picks up speed. Now, he"s in afull out sprint. Suddenly, he steps in a pothole and virtually fallsflat ~ above his face, he"s terrified, however then he captures himself. Now,he"s going solid again. The feels prefer an Olympic runner, that feelsthe excitement of the crowd in the stadium, that sees the ice cream acrossthe complete line. However wait, a contender is coming up beside him, helooks over his shoulder, no the various other shoulder, then with a look ofdetermination, the kicks into high gear. The crowd goes wild, it"sonly a couple of more feet, and also then! the wins! the raises his hand intriumph; he tide to his adoring fans. He dances a jig, then disco,and climate he"s in a mosh pit. Suddenly, the realizes he"s going to be late for job-related if the doesn"thurry up. After all that running, he"s pretty hungry. So he grabs abanana, peels it, and takes a bite. Mmmm. Great banana, and good foryou, too. Next, it"s time come shave. Girlfriend don"t desire to look at scragglyfor work, carry out you Mike? He spreads the cut cream top top his face.Hmm, tastes pretty good. Then shaves his confront making sure he doesn"tmiss a spot. Okay, now he bring away his towel, wipes his face, and he"sready to tackle his morning.He"s at work, and working yes, really hard, best Mike? Suddenly, over there isa pesky paris buzzing about him. It won"t leave him alone. That grabs arolled up piece of file to swat it. It"s over his head. Acquire it,Mike, obtain it. He gets up on his tip toes, but it"s simply too high.But wait, now it"s ideal in prior of him, currently left, now right. Kickit, Mike, kick it. Oh, it"s no use, Mike. Stop, don"t move. The haslanded ideal on the finish of his nose. (Talking slowly and quietly)Mike stares in ~ it intently, together he raises the document slowly andcarefully. It"s just sitting over there unaware of Mike"s shrewd plan. Iwill outsmart this fly, think Mike. Then, BAM, that smacks that fly!Oh, the chaos on his nose. Mike has to wipe it with a towel.Despite the mess, Mike has been triumphant over the angry fly. Heraises his fists and punches the air. No one messes through Mike theMagnificent, famed world-renowned boxer. He"s quick, he"s agile,he"s...whoa...late for his carpool home. Run to the parking lot,Mike. Run, run! Now, we watch Mike just before the boy Scout meetingis about to start. He"s hungry after ~ a long day in ~ the office, so hegrabs a couple of crackers and shoves them right into his mouth. No his nose.There girlfriend go, Mike. And also then he grabs some more. These are goodcrackers. Uh oh, Mike. It"s time because that the reconnaissance Law. (Mikerecites the Scout law with his mouth complete of crackers.)

The Ugliest male in the World

The skit is favor a circus side-show. Come one, come all, check out theWorld"s Ugliest Man. The ugly man has actually a towel end his head orsomething for this reason nobody have the right to see him. Any kind of volunteers to check out the world"sugliest man?First volunteer. Traction up the towel (so nobody else deserve to see theugliest man), screams in panic and runs offstage.Second volunteer. Sure, that can"t be that ugly. Traction up the towel(so nobody else have the right to see him), be overwhelmed by the ugliness, feeling illand run offstage.For the 3rd volunteer, pick the scoutmaster, campmaster, orsomeone tough or in authority. They walk in, pull up the towel choose theother two have actually done, climate the ugliest man in the people screams and also runsoffstage.

The wait Room

I observed this at a Vacation holy bible School Summer Camp. You need sixchairs together, and also one for the secretary. The step is a doctor"soffice.The first person come in. His shoulder twitches once every 3seconds. Secretary:"Please take it a seat, the doctor will be through youshortly."The 2nd guy comes in. One eye twitches when a second.Secretary:"Please take it a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly."He bring away a seat, and also after about 5 seconds, his shoulder startstwitching too, and the first guy"s eye beginning twitching. Thesecretary doesn"t get any type of symptoms.The 3rd guy has actually the hiccups. Now everyone records the hiccups,and the third guy it s okay the 2 twitches.The 4th guy sneezes. The 5th guy"s legs wobble. The sixthguy occasionally shakes all over.Wait a bit, through all the patient doing every the symptoms.A scout comes in through a beach sphere under his shirt, choose he"spregnant, and also all the patients operation out screaming. The pregnant scoutand secretary watch, wonder what"s wrong v them."Where"s the maternity ward?" Secretary:"Oh, you"re in the wrongoffice, that"s 2 floors up."

I Gotta walk Wee

Five men sleeping in a tent, all in a row. The scoutmaster onone end, the small scout ~ above the other.The tiny scout climbs over every the other sleeping scouts, that tryto stay asleep, and shakes the scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster!Scoutmaster! i gotta go wee!""Huh? Wha? Go earlier to sleep." The small scout crawls earlier overeveryone and goes ago to sleep for 5 seconds.The tiny scout climbs over every the other sleeping scouts, who tryto continue to be asleep, and also shakes the scoutmaster.

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"Scoutmaster!Scoutmaster! i gotta walk wee!""Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The tiny scout crawls ago overeveryone and goes earlier to sleep for 5 seconds.The tiny scout climbs over every the other sleeping scouts, that tryto stay asleep, and also shakes the scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster!Scoutmaster! ns gotta go wee!""OK! OK!", claims the scoutmaster, "If you"ve gotta go, climate go."The small scout was standing up and also waves his hand in theair: "Weee!!!!" earlier to ye olde catalogue of boy scout skits